Quem Sou Eu (Who am I)

I.

The smell of linens dried by the sun
Getting lost in my grandmother’s closet
An army of indigo faced saints on the old mahogany sideboard
Sepia toned photographs
Bay rum in the air
My father’s hands
My mother’s hair

Coming to America
A taxi ride from Queens to Manhattan
Where are the cowboys?
I thought there would be cowboys.

This is a strange place
No one says hello
It’s cold
We were robbed by the super three times
A cop called my mother Maria
THAT
IS
NOT
HER
NAME!
I want to go home

Learning English from Rita Moreno on the Electric Factory
I can mimic lots of words
twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheeseonasesameseedbun
I am becoming the official translator for my family

I speak English well now
but I still dream in Portuguese

II.

A little cafezinho dancing on my tongue
Carnaval
The shaking of my hips behind a trio electrico
The beach at sunset
Offerings to Yemanja
Ripe avocados with milk and sugar
Simpatias for a soulmate longed for

Endless summer days
Being kissed by the sun
Caipirinhas
Sensual summer nights
Falling in lust
Dreadlocks swinging
Chocolate molasses against my caramel skin

Taking trains in foreign countries
Southern Spain
Pretending I am a Moorish princess and the Alhambra is my palace
My hands and feet painted in saffron henna
The sweetness of Anise scented tobacco at a hookah parlor in Fez
Figs and rose petals
Mint tea in ruby colored glasses at the house of a friendly stranger

Drinking beer in Antwerp at a club called the “Funk U”
Waffles from a Congolese street vendor in Brussels
Catching Tito Puente in Luxemburg
My room at a cheap hotel in Paris right above a bakery
The young Cuban doctor on his way to Romania
Salsa turns in London with a Swede

Loosing my breath in Machu-Pichu
Loosing my wallet in Caracas
Chocolate and Chiles in Oaxaca
The murals of Siqueiros and Rivera
La Casa Azul
Frida

The still soothing darkness of small theatres
Fellini on Sunday afternoons
Tea houses with no name
The hush of old bookstores
The Times, O Globo and the Village Voice to keep me company
The Fulton Fish Market at 4:00 a.m.
and that one crab that got away

Record shops with a back room
Brooklyn under the bridge
Soho flea markets
Harlem brownstones
Asian medicine shops
Absinthe in Seattle
Cabernet in San Fran

Old boyfriends with regrets
My husbands’ sandaled feet
Conversations with my five year old son
Crayola self-portraits hanging on my heart

I am
Strong
Significant
Loved

© Xai Vicente Charles 2008